Conference Paper (2012)

Ok, let’s see… I have ten minutes to present, which is simply not enough time, you
know, because I usually talk for hours and hours so there is no way you
can possibly understand the profound depths of my mind and…oops eight
minutes left! I am so distracted by this red ticker they put on stage- I
will tell the organizers that they should give us more time…anyway, I
lost my train of profound thoughts which as I said was going to tell you
incredible things but I need to figure out what they are at this point
because some things just can’t be summarized … Five minutes? The truth
is I don’t know why I was invited to speak here…I forgot also to ask
why, and before I knew it I was getting on the plane to come here and was
thinking about what to tell you…like for example there is this book I
was thinking about… Three minutes!! Ok scrap that because there is not
enough time to talk about it. Ok I will skip my introduction which I actually
wasn’t sure if I wanted to read after all. If I can
pull up this presentation and just quickly show
You 156 slides from a project…wait, is this the right presentation? Why
is that slide there? my assistant always gets confused and gives me the
wrong slides… if I can ever get this damn remote to work…the curse of
technology, right?… One minute! Ok, let’s see… As I was saying…
where are my notes? I think I left page 15 in my hotel room which contained
the main thing I was going to say… Yes, yes I know time’s up and I need to get off stage!
How impatient are you guys… Why don’t you just read my books and email
me your questions later? Thanks.

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